Uncomfortable truths

Posted: December 11, 2009 in Commentary, For brothers, For sisters, Other people's writing

Anakin once again hits one out of the park.

I have to say that reading the website he links to at the end of the blog posting hit a bit close to home.  I was once  married to a narcissistic pastor’s daughter; and found myself nodding in agreement and remembrance.  This is the kind of relational advice that you might not get from your youth or singles pastor..   take the time to review it thoroughly.   Your future may depend on it.

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Comments
  1. Ame says:

    same can be true for men, as a commenter on the linked site states. this exactly describes my ex (who, too, was a pk/mk)

  2. True; I don’t mean to say that men are inherently moral or spiritual as opposed to women not being so. I mean to add balance; since the regnant suppositions – particularly in Evangelical protestant circles – need this.

  3. Ame says:

    i know balance is needed. i prefer to find the balance stating such information generically rather than specifically … ei: men and women, or the human race, etc, unless there are stats to back up one is more responsible than the other.

    ***

    “and found myself nodding in agreement and remembrance.”

    me, too. and i also found validation … it wasn’t about me; it was about him. he is still this way. he has lost about 100 pounds since our divorce, and when i sincerely complimented him, he shot back with vengeance in his voice, “it’s because i’m not in a poisonous relationship anymore.” he still will not take responsibility for anything and still blames it all on me. he will even tell you that it is the consequences of ‘my’ choices that he chooses not to see the children as much as he can b/c it was ‘my’ choice not to, essentially, change to become ‘right’ … or something he was happy with and therefore the divorce. funny thing about that … even when i did do everything exactly the way he wanted, he was still not happy with me. it was never enough; never.

  4. Ame says:

    i would even be content stating such info as ‘women and men’ 🙂

  5. D says:

    Ame,

    Your ex sounds like my mother while I was growing up. That’s why I will never marry because I’ve seen and been victimized by the best.

  6. Ame says:

    D – i am sorry your mother was like this growing up. one of the reasons i waited so long to have children was that i needed to forgive my mother – it took me ten years of actively working at it to forgive her for all she’d done to me. once i was able to forgive her, i was finally ‘free’ in my soul to have my own children.

    as adults and parents, we are often so self-focused that we forget our children are watching our every everything. that is wrong.

    perhaps, someday, you will be able to forgive your mother and work through it (with help) … and perhaps find a man who is able to handle all the stuff you grew up with.

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