Blast from the past

Posted: January 30, 2010 in Commentary, For brothers

It so happens that when my ex wife left for another person I was advised by a Christian attorney (who was also a lay marriage advisor in his fellowship) to get a separation agreement early in the process. I did in fact press my “ex” in this; and got a little flak from a few people — not a lot, a little — for this. One of those flak-givers was a pastor’s spouse, a real comforter of Job she was. The “fact” of my having a separation agreement on hand was thought to be evidence, I suppose, for not being whole-hearted about reconciliation. In the State of my residence, as it further so happens, separation agreements are seen by the courts as pretty much legally binding contracts; whereas pre-nuptial contracts have a lot of “give” in them by the time the lawyers get to squabbling; and in the various States there are horror stories of Family Law judges pretty much discarding the language in these documents. It so happened that my ex was of the mindset at that time that things would work out with the new guy, so the terms were fair.

I have previously written here about reforms that are needed in Family Law; my point today is this: If you have found your way to this posting by way of a search engine, and are in a situation similar to what mine was, do not hesitate at all to push for your legal standing and rights to be protected.

In my case, after my ex’s affair eventually crashed to earth, she was blistering in anger towards me; believing, as she put it, that she “could have had everything.” She was not correct completely about this; I doubt it would be as clean-cut. But things were clean cut in my case because I had, prompted by the Holy Spirit and the advice of an attorney, moved to protect myself.

I write this post simply to authenticate for you and acknowledge for you that you need protection and are not sinning by seeking it. Don’t be an ass about this. But don’t be road pizza either.

  1. Ame says:

    unfortunately, we sometimes need legal protection from our spouse, ex-spouse, and in those times it is wise to aquire such representation and protection.

    i hate it myself … truly a necessary evil.

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