Yet another presumptuous dating pointer..

Posted: September 4, 2010 in Commentary, For sisters, Relationship thoughts

Listen, sisters: If you soak your mind long enough in what passes for dating advice in the Evangelical bookstores and blogosphere, it will alter the reference frame of your thinking. You will thus be mis- and under- informed.

Let’s get back to basics: The single Christian man in your fellowship who is ernestly seeking after God is not (likely) going to be led astray by secular women offering him sexual favors — in the secular dating world, there are players on both sides of the gender aisle doing this sort of thing, but it’s not as widespread as is supposed. He is at risk of being treated with respect by secular women.

How are you treating the single Christian men in your midst? Are you respecting them? You best learn to do this if you want to snag one. You may have to look outside your ordinary Christian sources of insight to figure out how to do this.


  1. sing says:

    i just think one shows respect to everyone, whether one is christian or not and for that matter whether the recipient is christian or not should not matter…and this respect should also encompass all young or old…we forget oftentimes to respect even opinions of the little ones or the really elderly…does not mean one is young, old, guys or gals, this should waver.

    how much and how well you treat others just show what kind of person you are.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Quite frankly I stopped listening to any dating advice, whether secular or CHristian, a LOONG time ago… it seems no matter where I looked one would receive contradictory advice, ridiculous advice, un-Biblical advice.

    THe advice written by women always verges on the over-sugary advice and assume all women fit into a convenient box, or worse they treat us as if we’re simply a Christian Barbie doll (cause all women are interested in simply shoes, manicures, and dislike to talk about weighty matters). The best one I have read is “Ruby Slippers”

    I suppose we all want a convenient “formula” but sometimes this translates into “games” and manipulation.

    Simply respect, don’t play games (let your yes be yes), and care about the other person (which means learning about them and what they need)….why this hasn’t worked I have no clue, but this is Biblical and I refuse to give up on it 🙂 If this isn’t what works, then I suppose I’m not interested in what does!!

  3. Anonymous says:

    here’s the rub:
    Do I believe that single Christian men and women should be treated with respect? Yes. But I also believe in being honest—in being the person God created me to be. I am definitely making an effort to be respectful to my brothers,but I am also making a great effort to clearly bring home the point that their happiness or self-esteem is not based on having everything go right or having everyone go along with them.

  4. singlextianman says:

    Single Christian men clearly, also, do not have a duty to jump when you show them a picture of a frog. I infer (I could be wrong) that you are a lady, Anon. Be wary of a common failing in humans (i.e. ladies do it, too) of engaging in projection.

  5. Anonymous says:

    there are two anon….just for the record 🙂

    I am the anon 1…. 😀

    While I personally find frogs interesting, I would wonder why a picture of a frog would make men jump…(unless I missed a crucial subtle joke, or not so subtle….it’s is the end of a long day, after all and it’s been known to happen)

    Or alternatively….(smacks head) *that’s* what I’ve been doing wrong! So now you tell me….I was wondering why my frog pic’s weren’t working!! (although for someone who does happen to like tramping through the woods and looking under rocks for creepy crawlies, I can verify that this does indeed NOT work, for any other ladies reading)

    All kidding aside. It’s an unfortunate development, it seems, that in an effort to dispel the more outrageous feminist philosophies, that the roles have been terribly muddied.

    Case in point: On one hand the quiverful movement has been criticized in the blog; but where did these movements come from and why are the women so willing to invest in it? COuld it be because they have been so led to believe that any other actions (challenging ideas that your husband might have, contributing to the discussion…) is akin to uber-feminism? to being sinful? And we wonder why we have raised a generation of wimpy women! And unfortunately we are so afraid, women that is, of being *unfeminine* or unbiblical, that some are willing to squash any discussion.

    Furthermore, despite the criticisms of those ministries, even you reacted rather quickly even at the hint of someone wanting to have their opinions whatever those opinions might mean to men (assuming they are of course Biblical).

    I have no agenda other than this seems to show how spooked we all seem to be. At the hint of hearing a woman say that she wants to have a voice, sometimes men interpret that as “feminist, feminist!”….and at the sound of men wanting to be strong leaders, women can hear “submit! dominate!”… Given some horrible examples of each….it’s no wonder we can be screwed up.

    It’s a sad time when we have to be so….suspicious of one another.

  6. LadyElaine says:

    I am the other anon; I posted a comment at another computer. I definitely am NOT trying to project here. But I think anon 2 definitely are touching on some points that I think need to be said.

    Deeply wounded people are usually hyper-sensitive and overly cautious.

    To be honest, I simply just have accepted the reality that I’m just going to be another misunderstood sister, and that while I can be clear about who I am, what I want/need, and misperceptions regarding these things, I cannot make any man understand that. I can only do what is right and move forward.

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