Archive for the ‘Commentary’ Category

Just once, I would like those egalitarians who think that a man “looking at a woman with lust in his heart” can be divorced by his spouse for that, it being, as they see it, “adultery”  — just once, I’d like to hear them say a man could divorce a woman for the same offense.


I am, perhaps, the only male in North America who does not follow American football; but I do follow a bit of professional baseball. This may have to do with my Sigma personality and an upbringing that involved sandlot baseball and closely following the Detroit Tigers, and running crosscountry (a solitary, lone wolf kind of sport) in my formative years.

Thus; my metaphor…. My virtual acquintance, writing under the psuedonym ‘Amir Larijani’, has written a few pieces that knock the ball out of the park. You will find them here, here, here, and also here.

On a Christian Dating Site…

Posted: January 17, 2012 in Commentary

Seen recently on ChristianCafe: A woman who states that she wants “her man to be an extension of her.”

Seen just now, in response to a Cafe question prompt about how their last relationship ended: “Well, that’s a BIG question isn’t it?? ha! Do you want me to tell you it was on Biblical grounds? If you are THAT type of person to ask this, then we probably won’t be a good match anyway! 😉

I was in recent months at a small group hosted by the fellowship I affiliate with, and met a man who asked me if I was married. I said, “no, divorced. And biblically free.” What does that mean, “biblically free?” He asked me.

These are, of course, outliers. But outliers are useful for marking the frontier, aren’t they?

My virtual travels (after a short season of physical travel in Eastern Europe) cause me to come across this site, with this article. I found much to be gained from staying there a spell. What he says in the linked article goes double or so for single men.

John Immel, who edits the blog “SpiritualTyranny” has put his thinking cap on and written something worth your time to digest. Yes, it is long, and wordy .. but so necessary.

In Credos 37 and in #38 (the latter a link to John Eldedge’s writings) I tried in much feebler fashion to give voice to what Mr. Immel has written recently about specific and recent events in the Sovereign Grace movement.

Please do reflect that in my editing of the material on this blog I have consciously edited with an eye toward making the material purposefully more “generic” than specific. By linking to his essay I feel the need, then, to give a little back story. To boil it down, we have witnessed a church movement go off the rails with their approaches to church life, pastoral authority, and church discipline. Mr. Immel writes about SGM for his own reasons, which I infer have a lot to do with his love for them. I don’t link to his essay out of any specific animus towards SGM church goers or pastors; but I do have animus against the kinds of thinking and actions that are the fruit of their often, but not always, misplaced and misguided theology.

So: The take away is this quote …

“..there is a big difference between being logically consistent and using the tools of logic to create a rational castle that shields men from critical review.”

If you are a single Christian woman wondering where the single Christian men have all gone, you need to deeply reflect on

a) What it means to be a man


b) What it means to a man to be in a place where he feels he must chose between his God given masculinity (which includes his mind) and forbearing with people who “….shield men from critical review…”.

These are not things that are resolved with the gooey, sentimental feeling that comes from singing songs together, which either may or may not be His presence; nor hugs in the parking lot. Men are different.

If you are a single or married Christian man you know in your deepest heart that we are called to be brothers of He who called us brothers. HIS brothers. Reflect on that while your read this essay, which I say is worth your time, even if you are not in a church that acts like this. Some of your brothers are.

Deep down inside, you are looking for your Father.

Doesn’t matter how great your father was or your relationship was or was not with him. Doesn’t matter if you are a father or a grandfather; or not; or if you have connection with your children or grandchildren. That masculine fire inside you is looking for your Father.

I call to your attention this on-line posting by Josh Harris, Senior Pastoral authority at the Sovereign Grace Ministry’s flagship church. Of particular note to me is the acknowledgement of harm done to fellow believers in the area of their approaches to dating.

I have greater issues with some of the methodologies and thinking in the SGM movement than just this, but this is a huge thing.

In my lifetime I have both witnessed and experienced pastoral abuse of the type vaguely referred to insofar as dating and courtship is concerned. I imagine that ministries like and helped in their own way to bring the Holy Spirit’s light — and the light of open discussion — to these things. Time will tell if real change is coming to SGM.

Why comment on these matters again? Because of the way some single Christian men have been treated in some fellowships for things like taking a woman out to eat, or otherwise socializing with her in purity. These things being both sinful and offensive to the man as well as his Father.